


There Is No Heaven

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: M/M, Rapture, cecil narrative, probably AU, the rapture is coming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-06
Packaged: 2017-12-22 16:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Night Vale Radio prides itself on broadcasting until the end...which will be very, very soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There Is No Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> I have officially gotten into this fandom.

There is no Heaven. There is no Hell. There is only pain and burning. Welcome to Night Vale. 

Hello, listeners. You may be wondering, who is this smooth-voiced fellow talking to us through our car radios, grocery store speakers, and sometimes, from inside our heads? My name is Cecil, and I am the new host of Night Vale’s sole radio program. I hope you and I will form a relationship of sorts, where you listen to me and I lead you through these dark and troubled times. 

But Cecil, you say in a slightly worried voice, what dark and troubled times? 

They are coming. And you cannot escape. They will tear you apart and everything you know and love will forever become your worst fears. When you wake up in the middle of the night next to your loved ones, they will no longer be your loved ones. Do not look at them. Do not acknowledge their existence. Burn down your house and run as far as you can. 

And forget. 

And now, traffic. 

**

Carlos. Perfect Carlos. 

**

Listeners, I am shocked and appalled by recent developments in Night Vale. Formerly, we were a quiet little town, save for the occasional abduction and radiation scare and attacks by extraterrestrial beings. But now, things are happening. 

New residents have arrived from New York and are looking to move into our small community. Now, I don’t know about you, but I have noticed a definite population increase in Night Vale in the past year, ever since the government named us The Most Dangerously Radioactive Town in the World. It seems that people are attracted to that sort of thing. Hopefully the City Council will be able to spend a little more money on bettering our town facilities to accommodate the influx of people, and Angels. 

Now, I feel obligated to report that the residents from New York are not yet aware that they about to become permanent residents of Night Vale, but they will soon know. A random flight from JFK landed at the airport, and the plane seems to have disappeared, leaving the passengers stranded on the tarmac. There is no word whether the plane will return. The Pilot and crew are missing, though there were reports of screaming at the time of the disappearance. 

I realize that not all of these passengers are actually from New York, unless this flight is a really remarkable flight, but I do not know where else they are from due to my sources in the field, which include Old Woman Josie. Despite her Angelic connections, she is not actually a journalist and therefore did not ask each passenger where they came from. 

More as this develops. 

**

It seems the Angels have noticed Carlos in all his perfection. There are reports of heavenly voices chanting the words, “Carlos will become one of us. Carlos will be ours, eternally.” 

Now, I, like many of my listeners, do not wish for Night Vale to lose our sole source of happiness. However, if the Angels must make Carlos one of their own, might I request that they keep him in Old Woman Josie’s house and allow visits? 

Perhaps they can restore his perfect hair. 

One can only hope. 

**

Life. 

Many of you don’t have it anymore. 

Those of you who do, be grateful. And hide under your beds until sunrise tomorrow. 

Then, sacrifice a pet or small animal and burn the ashes in your backyard. 

This has been Traffic. 

**

Carlos and his team of scientists have reported that all cars in Night Vale seem to only run in reverse. So if you are driving, remember to use your rear-view mirror. Or have a reliable driving buddy sitting in the back. 

Speaking of which, Carlos, if you need a reliable driving buddy, I am nothing if not reliable. 

I see all. Nothing can escape my sight. 

Nothing. 

**

Listeners, I have excellent news. 

Now, I’m not one to get too personal, but you must understand, this radio station is all I have. Or it used to be, until I met Carlos. 

Perfect Carlos. Who is also, if I’m not being too bold, a perfect kisser. 

You heard me right. I have had a fabulous weekend. The kiss was followed by some equally excellent cuddling, before I returned to my home and hid under my bed in the hopes that the Sheriff’s Secret Police would not sense my happiness and take me away for months of re-education. 

You might be wondering, won’t the Secret Police hear you talking about your happiness on the radio? 

Perhaps. This is a risk I will just have to take. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow, then you will know what has happened. 

And to Carlos I say, thank you. My life is no longer a shell. And, possibly, goodbye. Forever. 

**

Carlos and his team of scientists have discovered that there is nothing keeping Night Vale from being destroyed by forces including but not limited to: radiation, government explosions, the plague, a rift in the space-time continuum, desert hurricanes, the children of Night Vale rising up against their adult suppressors and killing them all, and global warming. 

Carlos suggests that residents of Night Vale evacuate the town as soon as possible and will be petitioning over the next several weeks to implement Emergency Evacuation Procedures. 

According to the City Council, speaking in unison over the phone a few moments ago, “No one has ever left Night Vale. No one ever will. You belong to us.” 

Carlos could not be reached for comment. Nevertheless, I believe that Carlos is one of the best scientists in this country, and if he says something in that wonderfully pleasant and intelligent voice of his, you should listen to him. Even at risk of death, or worse. 

More on this story as it develops. 

**

Old Woman Josie has reported that the Angels have started speaking of a Rapture, which will come soon and destroy all of Night Vale. The Angels have told her that Death is immanent, and that the Fires of Hell will consume us all and our souls will be trapped in an alternate version of Night Vale for all eternity. 

Perhaps this has already happened. Perhaps we are already the souls trapped in an alternate Night Vale for all eternity and are simply unaware of our eternal existence. Perhaps we will always be trapped in alternate versions of our lives, forever going about our business without questioning our existence, only satisfied that we know we exist at all. 

Carlos and his team of scientists are saying that this is a sign that their earlier claims of Night Vale’s immanent destruction are valid, even though they cannot be sure if Angels exist. Which they definitely don’t. 

My dinner plans with Carlos have been postponed…indefinitely. 

**

Listeners. 

If I have any more listeners. 

There is…a light. A bright light on the horizon that continues to grow, illuminating the empty streets of Night Vale, the sand wastes, the home where previously Old Woman Josie and her Angels resided, the empty schools, the Dog Park now devoid of Hooded Figures. The shadows grow long and then disappear as the light begins to consume everything. 

Soon, it will reach this radio station. Soon, all of Night Vale will be enveloped in its white, blinding glow. 

I don’t know what happens when the light comes, but if I am able to report it, I will surely let you know, if you are listening. If there is anyone there. Which I am beginning to doubt. Perhaps I am the only one listening to my voice, broadcasting to myself, for myself. 

Earlier this week, up until today, Night Vale experienced a mass evacuation brought on by the claims of danger put forth by Carlos and his scientists, and Old Woman Josie and her Angels. The City Council did not comment further on the matter, but disappeared to the sounds of screams and metal tearing. 

All is silent. 

Carlos asked me to come with him, and I relished the thought of living a perfect life with perfect Carlos. But then, who would be here to report on the happenings of Night Vale? 

It has been suggested before that I am incapable of leaving Night Vale, incapable of letting a day go by without giving this broadcast. That I am attached to the radio station and perhaps even to the soul of Night Vale itself. I do not know if this is true, but something kept me from following Carlos into the vast desert to lands and lives unknown. Even though I wanted to. 

Even though I still want to. 

I do not know where Carlos, or anyone, is at this moment. Perhaps they are hundreds of miles away, in a different city, in a different state. It is possible that some are even in a different country. Teleportation is frowned upon but is, after all, possible. 

The light is getting brighter. The temperature is rising. It is becoming uncomfortable, even for a desert climate. 

There is something in the distance, coming closer, heading towards the station at a faster speed than the light that will soon consume all. 

It seems to be…a car. I have seen that car before. Carlos drives a car that looks awfully like that car, but Carlos has already left town and gave no indication that he would return. There is nothing to return to. Everything is gone. There is only the Rapture. 

The car has parked. I can see—wait. The man who is stepping out of the car looks like Carlos, enveloped in the bright light so that he looks like a radiant Angel. He has entered the station. 

Could it be Carlos? 

The electricity in the building seems to be shorting in and out. I hope you can still hear me. 

There are footsteps in the hallway, even though all the interns and Station Management left a few days ago. 

There is knocking at my door. 

More on this story as it develops.


End file.
